Amsterdam

Coventry airport is like a shed... Allen dropped me and Chris off on Tuesday evening before he went to see his mum in hospital and I felt like such a bitch. I mean here I am holidaying with another man whilst Allen's mum forgoes an important operation. Allen wouldn't hear of me cancelling my holiday and although my priorties lie with Allen I guess it wouldn't have been fair on Chris not to go.. So that's how we ended up in Coventry airport waiting for our flight to Schipol. We had 2 hours to spare and ended up in the most awful cafe eating out of sheer desperation, as per usual Chris had brought the same concotion of junk food that you usually only see on programs like "You are what you eat" before they become healthy. I brought a microwavable Chicken soup and was trying to surreptiously sip it without watching Chris eat. We ended up in the waiting room which for some completley bizarre reason was just showing the trailer for the Santa Clause 3 movie on repeat... this being mid-April. I brought myself a copy of Heat and a glass of white wine and waited... it seemed ages before the plane boarded and then whilst onboard the flight seemed relatively short.

We arrived into Schipol at 9 and only having taken hand luggage meant that it didn't take us long to get through immigration at all, we were on the double decker train to Central Station within 15 minutes of landing which felt brilliant. We stayed in the Botel which is fairly near to the station so we checked in, dumped our bags in the room, I checked that the dodgy porn channel was still free (it's really funny, when stoned) and we went out into the Red Light District. It's kind of weird going there with a guy who isn't your boyfriend... I was aware of Chris perving at the women particularly one who appeared to just be wearing sellotape across her nipples, and it embarrased me to be with him. I mean a boyfriend wouldn't look as it would be disrespectful to his girlfriend, yet I kind of had no control over Chris gawping. We found a coffeeshop which looked good and shared a bubblegum joint... I really didn't enjoy smoking it as it was way too strong and it seemed to make me really negative, So I brought myself a vanilla Spacecake. We left the cafe and took a walk outside looking in all the sex shop windows... I was shocked over the amount of bestiality which occured in all the sex shop windows. There was a lot of dog and horse related porn... We went to the erotic museum next where the highlight was definitely the porno version of the Smurfs that they show there. The museum was a bit crowded so I didn't take that many photos of me posing in the windows like I had done in the past with Allen. We walked back to our boat after the museum where we waited for our cakes to kick in... it was hilarious! I was lying up at the ceiling convinced the shapes were mice with clogs on, which got me singing waltzing Matilda. Will and Grace was showing on the TV and I was convinced that the whole program was about the England and Ireland divide with Jack and Karen representing the invading forces! Me and Chris had noted how much a mutual friend looked like a kettle... and then flicking through the channels again.. a red head was getting a spit roast from two guys and I was like wow... how come we don't get this version of Will and Grace. Chris then ruined all the fun by getting on a downer and being generally miserable so decided that the best thing to do was to go to sleep.